Okay starting out the middle of the new week, and still feeling like crap. I have been sick with whatever for awhile, and the doctors aren't sure what is going on YET! I have been staying busy with the music side of things though a little slacking has entailed due to feeling like crap, and other stuff coming up out of the blue. It is insane trying to work on music stuff when things around you are a total cluster.

      Now I want to share a little something for Valentine's Day. Though in a lot of ways it has been made more into a commercial holiday I figured I would share a little something from my history of love, and relationships.

      When I was 12 I had my first real girlfriend. She was 14, and thought I was just short for my age (which I was up until my about junior year of high school lol). You know first girl to really hold hands, my first real kiss, and all those things. It was a long summer, and it was cool having a girlfriend especially when ti was a real girlfriend at that age. My dad (who was killed when I was 14) gave me a small bracelet to give to her which I did. She was excited about it. Well we broke up, and then I moved. I did think about her some over the years being my first girlfriend, and all. Well a couple years ago we bumped into each other on Facebook. We started chatting. She has always given me trouble. She didn't know how women could date me with hot pink hair, and a huge mohawk. Was always telling me she could never be in a relationship with a guy with pink hair or a huge mohawk though she thought my tattoos were sexy lol. Well we chatted for a year or so, and as it turned out over all those years she kept that bracelet I had given her which still amazes me to this day. After chatting for about a year she ended up coming to one of my shows with one of her brothers, and her son. We kind of flirted, and chatted. Well from there we started dating. We ended up getting back together, and now we have been in the talks of possibly getting married. It is really cool that after all those years she kept that bracelet that I gave her. Especially since I really don't have much of anything that belonged to my father due to family conflicts. It is also really cool that I will hopefully be marrying my first girlfriend ever. I mean seriously especially now days who can say that they married the first person they ever kissed.

      It is kind of different with her when I do shows. I have been doing shows as FreedomAndForgiven, and with many other bands for a long time now. I used to not care if my girlfriend at the time made it to the show. Yeah it was cool if she did, but no big deal if she didn't. Honestly though I don't like doing shows when Angie isn't there. It kind of sucks when I have to do a show, and she isn't there. I think part of it is that she is always supportive, and gives me honest feedback on how things went. I once had a girlfriend who every show she came to with an half an hour or so of us arriving at the club she would be puking in the bathroom from drinking so much, and after that I had a girlfriend that every time she went to a show she just sat there looking mad the whole time. So it is really cool to have Angie there when she is supportive, and giving feedback. It is hard to always tell what is going on with the crowd when you are on stage so to get input on it from her really helps out also.

      I keep the bracelet hanging on a statue in my studio so I see it every single day, and all I have to do is look over my shoulder to see it. Sometimes when I am stressed, and pacing (A lot of you know I do that a lot. Thank goodness for anxiety meds lol.) I run it through my fingers as I am pacing. I know some of you will think the story is kind of stupid, but it means something to me, and I know some of you will realize how special of a story it is.

      Now back to business lol. I type this blog over the entire week. I start a new one the day I post the previous weeks blog. Well this at about 7:10 this morning (2/10) I finished all the programming for the drums on the first of many new tracks to come. The title of the track is called "Memories". I am hoping to at least get the very first part of the intro pads done this upcoming week, and the guitar or draft of the guitar recorded, and then go back and due the rest of the synths, pads, and bass lines. I am running 3 to 4 drum tracks at the same time through out the entire song except for a couple small breaks so it is going to be beat heavy. I think it is going to turn out to be a pretty nice track. It has a nice 80's fret tapping solo in it towards the end which I threw in because it matches the feeling of the story behind the song. All my songs have a story and/or a meaning behind them. I share a bit of my life story on here, but there is a lot more to my life story. I have had a very messed up life to say the least, and have never been good with words so I express the things going on in my head through my music. I also use the stories in my music to hopefully besides due music that gets people moving reach them in some way with the stories behind the songs. I will start posting the stories behind the new songs as I post them. We will also be working on slideshow videos for the tracks to tell a little of the stories behind the songs and/or just give some cool input on stuff.

  Well this morning started out a little rough. Not because of my waking up late, and having to hurry to get my son to the bus stop on time and all that jazz but from how I am feeling I had another Grand Mal seizure in my sleep. It is very hard waking up from one. I cannot explain how your body feels after one, how cluttered your mind is, how sick you are to your stomach, and how bad of a headache you have. I am going to keep going today though as usual. Never give in, never give up. I will starting my practice routing at the normal time today even though I feel like this, and plan on at least starting a little recording Thursday. I think that is what I am going to reserve the majority of Thursdays or maybe Wednesdays. Yes I will practice my other stuff, but also focus on getting recording done on those days also. Well until the next blog post. I will catch up with you all later, and don't forget to check out the videos, and guestbook.

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